What is Your Marriage Mission?
I know you’re super excited to get married for so many different reasons, and that being “in love” is just one of them. You also are looking forward to the benefits of marriage – sharing household responsibilites, always having a date for holiday events, and growing older and wiser with someone who understands your inside jokes. I totally get it.
But have you ever considered how your marriage is an entity that is bigger than your individual selves?
Life can be challenging, and we all need a little help getting through the day. Your marriage affects not only you, but your family, friends and hopefully the next generation as well. Dedicating your life to another person is just the beginning of a life full of promises, responsiblities and it will reward you accordingly.
If your marriage is going to go the distance, you need to establish some serious values and a relationship “work ethic” so both of you are investing in the same future for the same reasons. Having a Marriage Mission statement will help you refocus your efforts toward the bigger picture, rather than being dragged down by life’s little surprises. Dedicating yourself to serving the marriage (rather than expecting the marriage to serve you) allows you to transform the mundane aspects of married life into a meaningful legacy for you both.
There are many opportunities to lose sight of why you got married in the first place, because it’s not just about being in love, it’s about navigating life- for better or for worse, which can pitch you off course quickly if you don’t have a solid vision. A Marriage Mission Statement is a vision for what you want your marriage to be. It is an expression of your core values of life for your primary relationship that reflects your priorities and enshrines what’s important to you, so that on those hard days it will serve as a tool to keep you both focused on what matters most. And if it’s done well, a Marriage Mission Statement will help shape the next generation too, as the stronger YOUR relationship is the greater security and stability you will offer as an example to the youngsters in your life.
It’s often said that the best way to meet goals is to write them down. Whether you are trying to pay off debt, training for a marathon or envisioning a vacation, there is power and accountability in writing down a specific outcome and then working every day toward it. The same can be said of marriage. Even though we want to view it as an exotic adventure, marriage is much more like a marathon. If all goes well, it is a lifelong covenant between two people where there are ups and downs, life changes, personal growth and unforseen obstacles. All the more reason to have a code to stick to that works for both of you. To start defining your Marriage Mission Statement, sit down together and ask yourselves the following:
Why do you think your were destined to be together?
How did you know the other person was “The One”?
Why do you want to get married?
What are your top 5 marriage values?
What kind of legacy do you want to leave as a result of your marriage?
What are your short term goals that will help you live this mission?
Now look over your answers and find the core principles that define you as a couple, and create a few statements that will help keep you on track through the years. There are no rules when creating your own mission statement but keep in mind that you are not focusing on describing who you are as a couple now as much as who you want to be in the future. A mission statement becomes your goals – the target to aim for in your marriage. It helps you both get on the same page and determine what you want out of your relationship and life together. Trust that you will both create what is right for you, but if you need a little inspiration, maybe you could write something like this:
“The mission of our marriage is to create a nurturing place of faith, order, truth, love, happiness and relaxation, and to provide opportunity for each individual to become responsibly independent, and effectively interdependent, in order to serve worthy purposes in society. “
“Our family mission: To love each other…To help each other…To believe in each other…To wisely use our time, talents, and resources to bless others…To worship together…Forever.”
Of course, you’ll make these statements a little more personal and inspiring, I hope. Ultimately, the best Marriage Mission Statement has to be something that you as a couple are very passionate about. It must truly grab you at a heart level. It should carry such weight that you pray that some version of it will be in the life of your children’s children long into the future. It really will become part of your legacy for this generation and the ones to come, so make it authentic. And here’s the fun part – print it out and hang it in your home so you both see it, and live it, everyday.
A great marriage is built on a higher purpose, selfless duty, and tireless dedication which you then can offer not just to each other, but to your family, community, and beyond. Marriage is important not only to the two people who have pledged “‘till death” but it also is a powerful source of strength and love for those around you.
Are you curious about how to create a long, happy relationship with a solid mission statement? I have created an online course that will help you plan for everything that comes after you say “I do!” Things like, establishing the “terms” of your relationship, ensuring your Health, Wealth and Happiness as a couple, resolving differences in a healthy, productive manner, figuring out a proper chore chart or just who holds the remote are all part of building a long, meaningful partnership.
And to help you really bring your best selves to the altar and beyond, we take a deep dive into what makes your marriage tick, as individuals and as a couple. I walk you through the big picture of marriage in just a few easy lessons, so you can walk down the aisle with a firm foundation for your future. I think you’ll agree that a little bit of homework and self-reflection is a solid investment that will pay off for “as long as you both shall live”.