Why Little Rituals Can Be the Foundation of a Great Marriage
Do you ever feel like time slips by so fast that you don’t even realize it? One day it is the middle of winter and before you know it, it’s summer… Where did the time go? And more importantly, did you create some special memories along the way or just struggle through it?
It’s easy to get distracted by the hustle and bustle of life and forget to celebrate the little moments that make up our everyday experience. And when the days blur together, one after the other, it might feel like we aren’t creating anything truly meaningful or beautiful in our lives. But don’t be fooled by the demands modern life and the idea that we don’t have time for parties, cake, or silly rituals. Those are the things to live for, and there are plenty of opportunities to infuse the mundane with purpose so we don’t miss out on the magic of living.
One of the reasons that I have been studying myth and ritual for so long is because it helps us define the rhythm of our life. It shows us how to connect with the time of year, while simultaneously allowing us to reach back in time to happy memories and past celebrations. Whether you experience it in church, school, or just around the dinner table, there are always little ways to observe the passing of the seasons and fill our days with reverence. This is easy to do during big holidays, you know Christmas, Easter, Halloween (our house fave!), but what about when there isn’t a holiday spectacular going on – how do we keep our connection to Spirit in everyday life?
The answer is, we need to continually create our own traditions and honor honor the cycle of the seasons – if only in just a very small way or on days that aren’t marked by official holidays. God doesn’t take days off (even Sundays, trust me, I know) and we can always tap into the Divine whenever we need it. But the busyness of life often gets in the way, and we find that it has been a good long time since we’ve been to church, said a prayer, or even stopped to be grateful. When we don’t have a blueprint for how to celebrate the little joys of life, it’s easy to get lost in the responsibilites and demands of our modern world, lose touch with Nature, and neglect our spirits. This Spring, instead of going headfirst into the frenzied buzz of summertime, I invite you to slow down, focus your intention, and really sync with the regenerative powers of the season.
In mid-spring, our ancestors in the Northern Hemisphere celebrated a holiday that honored the return of the light, invoked the fertility of Mother Nature and gave everyone reason to stop and smell the roses. There are still echoes of these rites that survive in our modern calendar, it’s called May Day! I’m sure you’re familiar with it, but perhaps you haven’t participated since you were very young. You might have created little May Day baskets to leave on the porch of the person you had a crush on. Maybe you’d ring the doorbell and run away. And there would be an offering of cookies or candies inside for that person. You didn’t have to go to church, dress up, sit at a boring dinner or read special stories to observe this tradition. It was all about candy and crushes – the stuff of childhood. It might have seemed like a frivolous holiday made just for kids, but it was so much more than that.
May 1st is the mid point between the vernal equinox and summer solstice, and the main focus of the holiday is to promote fertility and to ensure the promise of new life that begins at Easter. The grass is green. There are buds on the trees. The snow is starting to melt up in the mountains. Baby animals are peeking out of their lairs. Everyone can feel the extra little spring in their step and getting excited for summer activities. It’s the perfect time to stop and give thanks for what Nature has done – banished winter and brought back the warming sun. Quite a gift, especially in ancient times!
Nurturing our sense of beauty, sharing our abundance, and offering thanks for the blessings to come is good for you no matter what your age, so I encourage you to take this time to see what needs tending in you. And if you’re feeling inspired to harness some of this seasonal creativity and vibrancy, there are so many ways to deepen your relationship with the Spirit of Springtime. Here are some fun, easy activities you can do with your spouse or family.
Nurture a plant or start a garden.
Go outside for a walk.
Listen to the birds at sunrise.
Host a bonfire party.
Create something with colorful ribbons and flowers.
Cook with springtime produce and fresh herbs.
Send a cheerful card to family members.
Write out your intentions for the next six weeks.
It might seem simple, but keeping traditions is fundamental to your marriage, family and spiritual life. Traditions strengthen marital bonds by providing a solid structure, a sense of continuity, and a feeling of belonging. They are crucial in providing support through life’s transitions by creating deeper commitment in times of joy and celebrations, and also offering comfort through crises, disappointments, and losses. Most of all, meaningful traditions contribute to the emotional health, self-esteem, and self-respect of both the individual and couple.
The goal is to develop simple regular routines that keep the family interacting with each other, whether you are doing the same thing that Grandma used to do, or inventing your own way of celebrating life’s little moments, whether they are deeply spiritual or a little bit silly is up to you. Whatever traditions you choose to cultivate (or which ones develop on their own!), allow them to help you tap into your inner spirit, your partner, your family and your community. Even the most simple action can hold a lot of meaning, so go seek out ways to make your life special. It’s what makes it worth living.
Vicki Wiepking
Vicki is a rogue minister frolicking through the mountains, finding the Divine in all things through people, animals and nature.
Are you curious about how to create a long, happy relationship beyond the holiday rituals? I have created an online course that will help you plan for everything that comes after you say “I do!” Things like, establishing the “terms” of your relationship, ensuring your Health, Wealth and Happiness as a couple, resolving differences in a healthy, productive manner, figuring out a proper chore chart or just who holds the remote are all part of building a long, meaningful partnership.
I walk you through the big picture of marriage in just a few easy lessons, so you don’t have to figure it out the hard way year after year. I think you’ll agree that a little bit of homework and self-reflection is a solid investment that will pay off for “as long as you both shall live”.
