My First Wedding
One of the most common questions I get from the guests at a wedding is “How did you start doing this?” My guess is that no one probably grows up thinking they are going to be a wedding officiant, myself included. If I could have predicted that when I moved to Bozeman in my mid-twenties that I would be frolicking in the mountains while working a fun, creative job, I would have told myself I was crazy. And I would have been right.
Even though I built this business by myself – every ceremony script, every webpage, every online course – it all started with a whisper to the Universe and no idea what was about to come my way. About 15 years ago, I was working at a local historical “Inn” that hosted wedding receptions, and one ceremony actually took place on site in the main hall. After setting up the event space, the staff retreated to the break area during the wedding. But I was intrigued. Peering through the french doors in the back, I watched as a woman officiant waved incense around the happy couple and read a groovy poem. I whispered to the server standing next to me, “I want to do that.” And before you knew it, the service was over and we were all back to work for the next six hours, serving dinner, drinks, and then cleaning up after the party. I mostly forgot about what I had said and eventually moved on to greener pastures in my professional life.
But it was shortly after that when another dear friend of mine told me she was getting married. And that she wanted me to officiate for them. I had never seriously thought about doing anything like that, but once she asked, how could I say no? And then I really thought about it and knew that I could create something beautiful and meaningful for an amazing friend. And like many things in life that are at once exhilarating and daunting, I put on my best “I totally got this” face, drew upon my creative writing skills, myth and ritual studies, and all those Sundays in church to create a script that reflected who they were as a couple and a family.
After the ceremony, I sat down on the empty benches near the creek with my husband for a moment of reflection. I told him how that was actually a really amazing experience and I put out another quiet little wish that I would be able to do it again sometime. It was not long after that couples started finding me online and I’ve never looked back.
Almost 500 weddings later, I’m always in awe of how the Universe just keeps sending couples my way. Recently, that same friend who was standing next to me all those years ago as I watched the lady officiant swirling incense and holding space for an “alterative” wedding celebration, reminded me that I had deliberately asked for all of this. Oh, I should mention that I also officiated her wedding in Baja about 13 years ago! It has taken a lot of faith and perseverance to embrace the call of the mountains and help couples with this most wonderful rite of passage, and I can’t wait to find out whom and where I’ll serve next.
Plus, who knew that Bozeman was such a destination wedding town? When I moved here 25 years ago, this was a small, quiet (except on rodeo days), and conservative-ish little oupost. Fast forward to today and it has grown into a bustling mountain town that welcomes thousands of couples who come here to connect with the wilderness and say their I Dos. Also, some of the best wedding professionals in the world are here to serve under the big sky, from photographers to caterers to musicians, and I’m so lucky to be one of them. It is always a privilege and a pleasure to help couples celebrate their love on their own terms – just the way I wanted to almost 20 years ago. I get out of it as much as I give, taking all that western romance and bringing it home to my marriage, and it is such a blessing.
