Springtime Renewal in the Rockies
There’s something about spring in Montana that makes you believe in new beginnings.
After months of slumber under mostly gray skies, springtime arrives in the mountains and suddenly everything explodes into life. The aspens leaf out overnight, baby animals frolick in the fields, and delicate wildflowers begin to show their happy faces. But that doesn’t rule out a late season snowstorm or two. Even as I write this, Big Sky Country is welcoming a heavy spring snowstorm. Not to worry, the wildflowers around here thrive under the blanket of snow and the rivers will gladly accept this blessing.
And of course, my hubby has already started his tomato and pepper seedlings indoors. He checks on them every morning and evening, giving each little sprout all the love and care it needs. The efforts will be well received in my kitchen this September, as I always look forward to his harvest and all the ways to share it.
There is a certain comfort in this season, knowing that the cycle of life continues. Our modern lives anchor around the wheel of the year, and each turn of the calendar offers a little wisdom that we can carry into our relationships. Because here’s what I’ve learned after officiating hundreds of weddings and being married myself for almost twenty years: every marriage goes through winters. And every marriage needs spring.
The Seasons of Love
When you stand at the altar on your wedding day, you’re usually in the spring of your love. Everything is new, exciting, full of growth and potential. The future stretches out before you like an endless trail into the wilderness.
But if you’re married long enough, you’ll experience all four seasons—probably multiple times.
You’ll have summers of passion and abundance, when everything feels easy and your love just flows. You’ll have autumns of harvest and gratitude, when you look at what you’ve built together and feel deeply satisfied. You’ll have winters of dormancy, difficulty, or disconnection. Times when the relationship feels cold, barren, stuck. When you wonder if spring will ever come again. And if you’re wise—if you’re patient and dedicated and willing to do the work—you’ll experience springs of renewal. Times when your love comes back to life in ways you never expected.
After 15 years of weddings, I’ve definitely noticed that more couples are renewing their vows. I have one couple that books me year to year, same place, same vows, same flowers. You might think “one and done”, but when it comes to love and commitment, once is never enough. Successful marriages are built on choosing each other every day, no matter what, and renewing your wedding vows every so often deepens your connection with each other, creating something more sacred each time.
You don’t need a formal vow renewal ceremony to recommit to your marriage. In fact, some of the most powerful recommitments happen quietly, privately, in the everyday choices we make. But there’s something about spring, when winter has finally released its grip but summer hasn’t arrived yet that inspires the perfect conditions for renewal.
Signs Your Marriage Needs a Spring Renewal
How do you know if it’s time to remind yourselves of the vows you have taken? Here are some telltale signs that your marriage could use a spring awakening:
You’re stuck in winter patterns. You keep having the same arguments. The same hurts resurface. You’re in a rut, and nothing you try seems to break you out of it.
You’re coasting. Not unhappy, exactly, but not deeply connected either. Kinda like roommates who share a bed. Partners in logistics but not in life.
You’ve stopped trying. When’s the last time you really courted each other? When’s the last time you went out of your way to delight your spouse? When’s the last time you had a conversation that wasn’t about schedules and responsibilities? Yikes, I know!
You’re carrying resentments. Small hurts that never got addressed have piled up like late-season snow. You’re cold toward each other, even if you’re polite about it. And you hope those issues will melt away…but they just crust over.
You want more but don’t know how to get it. You love each other. You’re committed. You know in your bones that your marriage could be so much richer, deeper, more alive than it currently is, but aren’t sure how to achieve that from the rut, snowbank or whatever you find yourselves buried in.
If any of these resonate, it’s time to start digging yourself out and embrace the spring thaw.
How to Renew Your Relationship
You don’t need a big ceremony. You don’t need matching outfits or a fancy venue. You don’t even need other people there (though community can be beautiful). What you need is intention. Honesty. And the willingness to let some things die so new things can grow. Here’s a simple but powerful spring renewal ritual you can do together:
Step 1: Name What Needs to Die
Go for a walk together somewhere beautiful—a trail, a park, even just around your neighborhood. As you walk, talk honestly about what needs to end. Maybe it’s a pattern of criticism that’s poisoned your connection. Maybe it’s the expectation that your spouse should read your mind. Maybe it’s the resentment you’ve been nursing about something that happened years ago. Maybe it’s the habit of choosing work or kids or screens over each other.
Be specific. Be honest. Don’t attack or blame—just name what’s no longer serving your marriage. These are the winter things that need to die so spring can come.
Step 2: Gather Symbols of Release
Find something in nature that represents what you’re releasing. A dead branch. A dried-up leaf. A stone that feels heavy in your hand. Hold it together and speak out loud what you’re letting go of. Laugh with each other, be natural. Cry together, be open. Then leave it there – walk away from it. Let the earth reclaim it.
This might feel silly if you’re not a ritual-oriented person. Do it anyway. There’s something powerful about physically releasing what you’re trying to emotionally release.
Step 3: Make Your Recommitment
Standing there with the earth between you and growth all around you, look each other in the eye and recommit. You don’t need fancy words. Just truth.
“I choose you again.” “I’m sorry for the ways I’ve let winter settle into our marriage. I want spring with you.” “I commit to doing my part to make this new season beautiful.”
Kiss. Hold each other. Feel the ground beneath your feet and the possibilities in the air.
Step 4: Create One New Ritual
Renewal isn’t a one-time event. It’s a practice. So choose one simple ritual you’ll do together to keep tending the spring you’ve just planted.
Maybe it’s morning coffee together three times a week where you actually talk. Maybe it’s Sunday evening check-ins where you each share one thing you’re grateful for and one thing you need. Maybe it’s Friday night walks where phones stay home. Maybe it’s going to bed together at the same time, even if one of you doesn’t fall asleep right away.
Pick one small thing that is easy for you both and let it happen with no expecations. Give yourselves the space to simply enjoy each other. No pressure.
Step 5: Plant Seeds of Intention
Now talk about what you want to grow. What do you want this new season of your marriage to look like?Maybe more laughter and fun at home. More adventure seeking or lazy days on the river together. More honest conversation and physical affection. More grace and compassion. More authenticity.
Again, be specific. “I want us to have a real date night twice a month where we actually talk.” “I want to go to bed together instead of one of us always staying up late.” “I want to learn how to fight without shutting down.”
On your way home, get a living seedling from the garden store and plant it together as a symbol of these new intentions. Decide to care for it together. Give it a name. Pour your love into it. It will give back to you.
When you recommit to your marriage—when you let winter patterns die and choose spring renewal—you’re participating in something sacred. Your marriage is a living, breathing entity. It’s not static. It’s either growing or dying, always. And the beautiful, terrible truth is this: you get to choose which direction it goes.
What If You’re in Deep Winter?
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s nice for people whose marriages just need a little freshening up. But we’re in permafrost. We’re in Antarctica. Spring feels impossible.” I hear you. And I want you to know: even the deepest winter eventually yields to spring. But sometimes you need help.
Sometimes you need more than a ritual in the woods. Sometimes you need therapy or mediation. Sometimes you need a separation to get clarity or mabye even a serious intervention from people who know how to help marriages survive the killing frost. We’ve all been there at one time or another, and breaking the ice between each other can be hard.
The couples who make it aren’t the ones who never face winter. They’re the ones who have the humility to ask for help when winter goes on too long. If that’s you, please—reach out. To a therapist. To a minister. To a trusted friend. To me. To someone who can help you find your way back to warmth.
Spring is still possible. But you might need a guide to get there.
An Invitation to Tend Your Garden
Here in Big Sky Country, we know that spring doesn’t last long. Those little buds and shoots grow rapidly as the snow melts, and before you know it, we’re into the work of the growing season. I know that it won’t be long before my hubby fills my kitchen table every week with San Marzano tomatoes and Thai chili peppers, and I’m already looking up new recipes. The work of the garden doesn’t just happen at the harvest, it takes place all year long. Just like marriage.
So if you’re ready to feel the stirring of new life in your marriage—if you’re sensing that it’s time to recommit, to renew, to choose spring—don’t wait. Don’t tell yourself you’ll get to it later. Now is the moment when new growth is easiest and you’ll be so thankful that you put in the effort.
Spring won’t just happen to your marriage. You have to plant it. You have to tend it. You have to pull the weeds and water the soil and protect the tender new growth. If you show up with intention and honesty and hope you can definitely turn winter into spring.
So go. Walk in the woods. Talk honestly. Release what needs to die. Plant what needs to grow. Recommit to the love that brought you together and the love that will carry you forward. Choose spring. And watch what grows.
Ready to make your recommitment official? I’d be honored to help you create a marriage renewal ceremony that celebrates where you’ve been and blesses where you’re going. Whether it’s just the two of you or surrounded by community, a vowg renewal ceremony can be a powerful way to invigorate your relationship. Contact me to schedule a consultation.
Ready to go deeper? Sacred Relationships—my online transformative course for couples—gives you the tools, practices, and support to create lasting spring in your marriage. Click below to get started!
Vicki Wiepking has been officiating weddings and renewal ceremonies throughout Big Sky Country for 15 years. When she’s not standing with couples on mountaintops, she’s helping them tend to their relationships through every season. And enjoying the fruits of her husband’s garden along the way.