The Knowing: How Epiphany’s Divine Revelation Can Guide Your Love Journey
There’s this moment that happens in every love story—a moment when you just know. You know this is the person. You know this love is different. You know, deep in your bones, that your life has just changed forever.
The ancient Christian celebration of Epiphany, which we observe on January 6th, honors this very experience of divine knowing. It celebrates the moment when the Magi—those wise travelers following a star—finally arrived and recognized the Christ child. After a long journey guided by faith and celestial wisdom, they stood in the presence of something sacred and thought: “Yes. This is it. This is what we’ve been searching for.”
Sound familiar?
Here in Big Sky Country, where the stars shine brighter than just about anywhere on Earth, I’ve stood with couples who’ve had their own epiphany moments. And let me tell you—whether it’s recognizing the divine in a newborn or recognizing your soulmate across a crowded room, that moment of knowing is one of life’s most powerful experiences.
What Epiphany Teaches Us About Love
The word “epiphany” comes from the Greek word meaning “manifestation” or “striking appearance.” It’s that lightning-bolt moment when truth reveals itself so clearly that you can’t unsee it. For the Magi, it was the star. For you, maybe it was the way your partner laughed at your terrible joke, or held your hand during a difficult moment, or looked at you across the breakfast table over coffe and toast.
But here’s what I’ve learned after officiating hundreds of weddings and working with couples through every season of relationship: the epiphany moment isn’t just about recognition. It’s about response.
The Magi didn’t just see the star and think “huh, interesting.” They dropped everything, packed up their camels, and started walking. They trusted their knowing enough to act on it.
Your Personal Love Epiphany
Think back to your own moment of knowing. Maybe you’re in it right now—that electric feeling of having found something rare and precious. Or maybe you’re years into marriage and you’re trying to reconnect with that initial clarity.
Either way, I want you to ask yourself: What did you know in that moment, and what did it ask of you?
When Gianna told me about the moment she knew Jake was “the one,” her voice got all excited and she said, “I knew John was the one after the first weekend we officially met. I was initially attracted to his amazing smile, but after meeting through mutual friends, I had a feeling he might be the one after having one brief conversation with him. I was driving from Missoula back to Eastern Washington, and on my way home that weekend I stopped by two exit signs that I had driven past hundreds of times in my life before. The first one I passed said “Saint John”, and it instantly reminded me of the incredible guy I had met that weekend. But then, the next exit sign said “H*****ton Lake”, and I knew then and there that this was a sign (that’s his last name!!).'”
That was her epiphany. And her response? She started showing up differently. She knew that this was a big moment in her life, and she didn’t want to miss it!
The Journey After the Star
Here’s where the Epiphany story gets really good, though. The Magi’s journey didn’t end when they found Jesus. In fact, that’s when the real journey began. They offered their gifts, paid homage to the divine they’d recognized, and then—this part always gets my attention—they went home “by another way.”
They couldn’t go back to who they were before the knowing. The revelation changed their path permanently. Your love epiphany works the same way. Once you know, you can’t unknow it. And that recognition changes everything about how you move forward.
Practical Wisdom for Following Your Star
So how do we honor our knowing? How do we keep following the star when daily life makes it easy to lose sight of that initial clarity?
Trust your inner compass. Just like the Magi trusted their star even when the journey got hard, trust the knowing that brought you together. On difficult days when you’re tempted to question everything, come back to that core recognition of what you saw in each other.
Bring your gifts. The wise men brought gold, frankincense, and myrrh—symbolic gifts that honored what they’d found. What gifts do you bring to your relationship? Maybe it’s patience, humor, loyalty, or the ability to make killer pancakes on Sunday morning. Bring them intentionally. Offer them generously.
Be willing to go home by another way. Relationship will change you. It’s supposed to. The person you become through loving someone well is not the same person who started the journey. Don’t resist that transformation—embrace it.
Keep looking for the divine in the everyday. Epiphany reminds us that the sacred shows up in unexpected places—like a barn in Bethlehem, or a snowy backcountry trail, or your front porch on a Tuesday night. Train yourself to recognize the holy moments in your ordinary life together.
Epiphany Questions for Couples
Whether you’re newly engaged or celebrating your 50th anniversary, take some time this week to sit down together and explore these questions:
- What was your “knowing” moment? When did you first recognize that this love was different?
- What gifts has this relationship asked you to develop or offer?
- How has loving each other changed who you are?
- Where do you see the divine showing up in your relationship today?
- What “star” are you following together right now? What shared vision guides your partnership?
When the Star Gets Hard to See
I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t acknowledge that sometimes, the star gets obscured. Life gets complicated. Hurt happens. The knowing that once felt so clear can start to feel fuzzy.
If you’re in that place right now, hear this: the star is still there. The knowing is still true. Sometimes we just need help clearing away the clouds.
That’s exactly why I created the Sacred Relationships online course—to help couples reconnect with the truth of their love and learn practical tools for following their star through every season. Because knowing you’ve found the right person is one thing. Learning to love them well through decades of life together? That’s the real journey. Click below to discover how it can help you – no matter how long you’ve been in your “situationship”.
Following Your Star in 2026
As we step into this new year, I want to invite you to live from your knowing. Trust the epiphany that brought you together. Follow the star of your shared vision with the same boldness as those ancient wise men. Whether you’re planning a wedding ceremony that honors your unique love story, or you’re years into marriage and ready to deepen your commitment, I’m here to help you follow that star.
Because here’s what I know after years of standing with couples under Montana’s big sky: when two people recognize the divine in each other and have the courage to follow that knowing wherever it leads, they create something absolutely sacred.
And that, my friends, is what makes the journey worthwhile.
Ready to start your own journey of recognition and response? I’d love to help you do the relationship homework that honors and supports your unique knowing. Click below to get started following your star together.